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 In all areas of life bringing a positive energy and a highly engaged spirit is inspirational and motivational. It is incumbent on an influential leader to attract and develop relationships with other positive energy people (or raise the level of less positive energy people) by bringing the appropriate attitude and way of being to personal interactions. This is important in your career, with family and friends, and in the organizations we are involved in. This means bringing an optimistic mind-set and conveying a spirit in our words and deeds to show people we are interested, alert, and eager to engage with them in our activities. This attitude of commitment helps attract and develop opportunity that otherwise might not happen. It is essential to a successful career to attract other highly engaged, talented, and knowledgeable people to work with and champion one another. This interactive and cooperative way of being is far more effective than working solo and trying as an individual to overcome difficult problems. The overall knowledge, skill, and talent of a team of talented people with different abilities, background, and qualities trumps the challenge of a specific activity or objective that may stymie an individual. This means removing any negative attitudes that may hold back the group. It means having the core thought process that believes, ‘everyone wins.’ and recognizes that each team member has a vital role to play and contribution to make. It is the leader’s role to encourage and motivate each person to bring out their best performance and to shift their attitude towards sharing their knowledge, skill, and talent so that in essence, “The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.” This occurs by creating emotional and intellectual buy-in for the objective you want the group to accomplish. This has application in negotiations, sales, team projects, and with significant others and children. What to do now? Observe and evaluate your overall attitude and way of being when you interact with your teammates. Recognize what’s working for you and what is holding you back from achieving what you desire to get done. Determine what the way of thinking is that will help you to bring positive power to the career game and connect with people at a deeper and more meaningful level. All best, -- Neil Cooper Certified Coach and Mentor – Achieving Success with Integrity Career Transition, Leadership, Personal Development 973-445-4200 CareerCoachNJ.com Twitter: @CareerCoachNJ LinkedIn.com/in/neilcooper711 Skype: CooperLeadershipCoaching CareerCoachNJ@gmail.com ‘The quality of your career is in direct proportion to the choices you make today. When you choose to carefully plan and then make a conscious choice to act on your plan you will build an outstanding career!’  Shame on Me? Not Today! For those that struggle with addiction “Shame” is as toxic and dangerous as a drug just in different ways. I agree that we weren’t born with this notion, but it does have a tendency to permeate our society and as a result our individual psyches and make a quite comfortable home! It is crucial to recovery and sobriety not to get entangled with the notion that “I am bad, because I have this,” (whatever “it” is) but to acknowledge that “I am healthy enough, smart enough, worthy enough to get help because I don’t want “this” to continue to take over my life and destroy me anymore.” In my own battle and that is just what it was, and on some days continues to be, I know that I am not “this.” It no longer defines ME. It is important for us that are marginalized, because we fear the same and stigma, to acknowledge that we are no longer hiding in isolation and not feeling connected, hiding under blankets of shame. Letting go of the shame released me from the prison that the drinking kept me in, So to go from one prison to another can in no way help rehabilitate! I am more powerful than my ‘issue’ and I have been enveloped by a community that can relate and that is supportive and that has helped me immeasurably, in the beginning, to build myself back up, and today to keep me motivated and strong so shame has no place in my life, there just isn’t any room! It is empowering to acknowledge that we have a voice, we are working on things and helping millions in the process. Kudos to all of us! Shira Goldberg BSc., Recovery Coach LivingSoberLifeCoaching.com Twitter @LivingsoberLC LI LivingSoberLC FB https://www.facebook.com/Livingsobercoach FB https://www.facebook.com/livingsoberlifecoaching Alcoholism is not a disease. I am living proof. My unwavering commitment to my sobriety is achieved using only my mind,body, and tools around me to make sure that I continue to be the Master of One. Nothing more and nothing less. I'm here to serve myself first and then you. I can help you if you are accountable to yourself. Alcoholism and My Annual Physical: Nothing but Fun! Today I went to a new Doctor because I changed jobs and had to find a doctor who accepted my insurance. I was fortunate that I did not have a chance to have my medical records forwarded prior to my going to this doctor. I wanted to test a theory I had: Facts are:
This new doctor and I had a conversation about my lab work that had come back and he had some concerns and was very empathetic and kind when he told me that I was borderline Diabetic. This was something that he could not explain because my Body Mass index indicated that I was overweight but he went on to explain that the BMI calculator does not account for overly muscular people. My blood pressure was 114 over 74 and this caused some further confusion. He asked me about my diet and I told him that I ate sensibly and splurged when i wanted to but was restrictive because I was an athlete. We went on to talk about my family history and there is no pattern or history of Diabetes. He struggled on for about 15 minutes until I told him to stop trying to understand. I decided to give him the facts as I listed them out above. Suddenly all the lights went on and this guy understood what he was dealing with here. He then asked me if I was an alcoholic? I said, " Define the word "Alcoholic". He smiled and explained that he was asking if I had a drinking problem. I responded that this was avery different question than asking me if I was an alcoholic. I explained that the American medical Association defines and Alcoholic as someone who has a disease which they decided to label as alcoholism. ( http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/alcoholism) I went on to explain that one point I had a very bad habit of drinking everyday until alcohol took over my body and caused me to become mentally and moreover physically dependent on it to get through the day. When I was forced by seizures and acute pancreatitis to be hospitalized, I was medically detoxed and went through rehabilitation so in essence I developed a very bad habit that I brought on myself for a variety of psychological or environmental reasons and it consumed me physically. I concluded my dissertation about the habit of alcoholism by saying that I no longer had this awful habit because I had stopped drinking completely and live a very healthy life both physically and mentally. As a successful executive father, and husband, I no longer have the need for this habit. The look on my new doctor's face was one of pure delight. He congratulated me on my success in staying sober. I explained that there was no reason for him to congratulate me because I only had one choice, I could stop drinking or die. Anyone who does not make that choice deserves to die because they obviously do not have any of their rational thought processes or natural animal instincts of self preservation left. I n essence, if someone chooses to continue drinking when they know they are going to die than they deserve to die. They have essentially committed suicide. I believe and know that anyone who is medically detoxed and given some small amount of counseling in order to regroup can stop drinking. It's actually very simple. My doctor said it was not that simple and that alcoholism is a disease that kills millions of people. I said," you're right dr. *****. Alcoholism does kill millions of people. The American Medical association as made it so people who develop a drinking habit of their own free will now have an excuse. They have a label that they can put on themselves that prevents them from fighting back against that which started them down the path of drinking. They now can sit in a room with 30 other defeatist losers with a ten year pin who rely heavily on each other to stay away from the transcendent power of alcohol. There are legions of groups stronger than any other cause or political group that meet daily to whine on their hands and knees about their "disease". The AMA feeds this disease with counseling and drugs and hospitalization and million dollar rehab centers.................He stopped me before i could finish my tirade He said okay I understand where you are coming from, so how did you do it? How did you stop drinking? I looked him straight in the face and said, I did it on my hands and feet. I did it on the strength of what is inside me. I did it angry. The day I walked out of the hospital I went to every bar and liquor store that over served me and thanked those people for being who they were. At my rehab center I ignored everything I was told about Alcoholics Anonymous and 12 step and I focused on myself and my anger. My anger was not only for the people who had looked me in the face and served me when i had no money or abandoned me when i was passed out cold and alone, it was for me. My anger was mostly directed at the one person who not only caused all this pain but also the one person who could end it. I was not going to let any doctor or definition tell me I had a disease for the rest of my life and I was going to change everything. Facts:
I had a great trip to my new doctor's office today because I am not an "alcoholic". I had a nasty habit that I broke. I tested my theory and had some pretty god results with the evidence that I collected. There isn't a doctor in the world that can tell me I am an alcoholic. The reason is that alcoholism is not a disease. Diabetes is but they had a hard time with that one too because I worked really hard to get where I am. Chronic pancreatitis is a condition but the pain is bearable considering my body of work in the pain department. There is no such thing as Alcoholism as a disease. Cancer is a disease, Multiple Sclerosis is a disease, and leukemia is a disease. You can't possibly compare a drinking habit to those true diseases. Alcoholics Anonymous,12 step programs, and every rehab center in the country wants you to believe in the lie of "Alcoholism" as a disease". Then and only then will you have an excuse to fail. You can live the rest of your life on your knees as an "alcoholic" or on your feet as a powerful human being. Alcoholism is not a Disease! Posted by UnstoppableMasterofOne at 1:06  When a teenager starts using drugs, the finger-pointing begins. The first to get blamed is usually a parent, followed perhaps by a bad influence at school, an older sibling or a high-pressure coach or teacher. While there's no place for blame -- it's counterproductive and in most cases, misplaced -- there is room for understanding. Well-meaning parents sometimes do things that unwittingly encourage their teens to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Is there room for improvement in your parenting practices? #1 Being Wishy-Washy About Drug Use Long before your kids facethe pressures of adolescence, they should know your stance on drugs. If you convey the message that experimentation is OK, they're more likely to use drugs or alcohol, increasing the risk of accidents, injuries, high-risk sexual behaviors and addiction. Set firm rules and expectations but understand that your children may have questions, and they may still be curious about drugs. Make sure they feel comfortable talking to you by asking questions and listening without judgment. That way, you know yours is at least one of the voices they hear on the subject. #2 Ignoring the Underlying Issues Is your child impulsive, aggressive or socially withdrawn? Are they falling behind in school or struggling with behavioral or mental health issues such as depression, anxiety or ADHD? All of these can be underlying causes of substance abuse. As stressed-out parents, it's tempting to ignore teenagers' complaints about their stress levels but almost three-quarters of teens cite school stress as a leading cause of drug abuse. Assess your child's risk level and have open conversations about your concerns. Talking to your child about the risk factors for addiction is especially important if there's a history of drug or alcohol problems in your family. #3 Not Practicing What You Preach At any age, children pay closer attention to what you do than what you say. Even fiercely independent teens are heavily influenced by their parents, so if you drink excessively or use drugs, don't be surprised if your teen follows suit. Having a parent who uses drugs is a strong predictor of adolescent substance abuse. It should go without saying but never provide alcohol or other drugs to your teen or their friends. You may think they'll be safest partying in your home, but the message they receive is that drug use is acceptable, which puts them in much greater dangerin the bigger scheme. Follow your own rules and spend quality time with your child so that they are regularly exposed to your positive model. #4 Turning a Blind Eye Not knowing what else to do, some parents turn a blind eye to the signs of teen substance abuse. You may notice changes in your teen -- for example, moodiness, new friends, much less or much more energy, weight loss or gain, or inattention to personal hygiene -- but assume it's just a part of being a teenager. Adolescence is a difficult time to assess what's normal, but by being actively involved in your child's day-to-day life, you'll be the first to notice if something seems off. Watch particularly closely during times of transition, such as a divorce, changing schools or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Research shows that regular monitoring and a close parent-child relationship can cut the risk of drug use. Other denial tactics are more subtle. For example, parents may set rules about substance use but leave the medicine cabinet unlocked and loaded with addictive drugs. Every day, an average of 2,000 teens misuse prescription drugs for the first time, the majority of whom take drugs from their own homes or their friends' homes. Many teens report that prescription drugs are easier to buy then beer. Still, a recent survey shows that despite growing awareness about prescription drug addiction and the risk of overdose, most parents say they aren't all that concerned about their child. Even the brightest, most mature teens can make bad decisions about drugs and alcohol. In fact, smart teens may be at even greater risk of substance abuse than their peers. The brain isn't fully matured until around age 25 - we can't expect teens to make adult decisions when they're operating with adolescent machinery. #5 Waiting to Get Help As parents, we like to give our kids the benefit of the doubt -- one more chance to outgrow a rebellious phase or to discover that they don't really like the way drugs make them feel. But drug use in adolescence, especially early adolescence (age 13 or 14), can damage the brain and increase the risk of addiction and other problems later in life. When you're raising a teenager, every day presents new challenges. From moment to moment it can be difficult to know the right thing to do or say, but there are a few ways you can't go wrong. Spend lots of quality time with your teen and if something seems amiss, talk about it. For those occasions when talking doesn't get you anywhere, get help.Your teen's drug use isn't your fault, but you are a critical part of the solution. David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry and addiction medicine. He is CEO of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of mental health and addiction treatment centers that includes the Promises Malibu rehab centers, The Ranch, Right Step, and Spirit Lodge. Follow David Sack, M.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/drdavidsack Follow his blog: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-sack-md/teen-substance-abuse_b_2792838.html?goback=%2Egde_2950452_member_220322305  Worried? What are You Doing About it? by Shira Goldberg, B.Sc. Recovery Coach When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the Boogeyman. Most likely so were you. Every night before I went to bed I had this concern and worried that he would get me. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t alone in this. I have had countless friends and family members over the years share their story and it was amazing that we all had this concern. Although we were each enveloped in worry on a nightly basis, what was even more interesting to me was that we all had the same solutions. Everyone seemed to instinctively understand that the Boogieman couldn’t get you if you tucked your feet in and had on your night light. If your foot was not protected and hanging out, well, we were all quite certain of the impending hand from underneath the bed that would pull you under. Even around five years old we had the resourcefulness of life-saving techniques. It was because of the night light and the blanket completely wrapped around our feet we are all alive today. As babies we were able to self sooth by being allowed to cry. By our caretakers allowing us to figure it out on our own, instead of being picked up every time, we eventually got the idea, so we cried ourselves to sleep and woke up happy and smiley. We have all seen those overprotective parents that suffered their baby’s wrath and seemingly endless lung capacity that were picked up every time, usually throwing a temper tantrum at the grocery store. From very early on, we have seen the benefits of being able to self-care, and as we grew from helpless infants to five year old Boogeyman evaders, it proved to be a life saver. Being able to identify a solution; night light, protective blanket tucked strategically, from such a valid concern, the Boogieman, shows how early we could figure out a solution. So at such tender ages we reduced our worry or fear through action night after night until we realized there was no such thing after all. Fast forward to today. How much time do we spend worrying over things that we have little or no control over? What is our Boogeyman today? How much effort do we invest in finding a solution, to the best of our abilities, or just use our energies to stress needlessly over something we most likely have little control of anyway. We all understand logically, that worrying yourself sick over something does nothing to resolve the issue, but we do it anyway, despite our logical selves. What changed? We did. Nowadays we have a tendency to worry because we can’t fix ‘it,’ can’t solve ‘it,’ or figure ‘it’ out. We seem to be problem focused which never did anyone any good and solves nothing. It just leaves us exhausted and allows the problem to remain and grow, magnified, amplified, making us feeling small and helpless. We were solution focused as five year olds, being alive and surviving the Boogieman is a testament to that. We didn’t lie in bed, wide awake, fearing for our lives, waiting for the grip of his hand around our ankle pulling us under like getting caught in a horror movie undertow. No, we took the initiative by being solution focused, despite our fears and concern and repeated this process all on our own through the night light, tucked blanket ritual, and never did get caught off guard because we were prepared and took action. Worry lessens when we are solution focused, involved, doing something, or every/anything we can and through this determination we are left with very little time to worry about ‘it,’ because we are actively doing something about ‘it,’ and inevitably whatever the current boogeyman seems to be, we know by taking action, he can’t get us anymore. Shira Goldberg BSc., Recovery Coach LivingSoberLifeCoaching.com Twitter @LivingsoberLC LI LivingSoberLC FB https://www.facebook.com/Livingsobercoach FB https://www.facebook.com/livingsoberlifecoaching | Sound Off!
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